Saturday, July 16, 2005

Godzilla Selling WMD to Iraq?: Interview with Mr Godzilla 

Mr. Godzilla or AKA Mr.Gojira is accused of selling Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD including nuclear, chemical and biological weapons) especially nuclear related materials to Iraq before the Second US invasion of Iraq by Hello Kitty Special Police Unit (HKSPU, and Hello Kitty Tokubetsu Keisatsu Butai in Japanese). The United Nation has been assessing the WMD capability of Iraq while the results of their investigation have been unyielding. Now Mr. Godzilla has been accused of selling WMD materials to Saddam Hussein while he was still in power. The author had a chance to interview both Mr. Godzilla and Sgt. Hello Kitty of HKSPU.

I visited the hideout of Mr. Godzilla located on the Monster Island. The interview was only permitted after the author had agreed to conceal the location of his whereabouts.

Musashi: "Mr. Godzilla, is it true that you have sold the WMD materials to Presi. Hussein of Iraq?"

Mr. Godzilla: "grr, um not really, I don't think. Just because I have this affliction of being born from the nuclear waste, does not mean that, grrr, I had sold these kinds of materials. grr."

Musashi: "Mr. Godzilla, I have been hearing that you have visited Iraq in the summer of 1996. For a week."

Mr. Godzilla: "Um, yeah, I went onto this vacation, grr. It was you know like I wanted to see what the middle east is all about, grr. It was fun, checking out camel and so on and I saw some bombing. May be that Clinton stuff. grr...Oh wait, I pooped and peed a lot during the vacation, and you know, my poops and pee are well, kind deadly. grrr. May be grr, if the humans possesses um, these stuff, hell, dunno, it could be dangerous? grr."

Musashi: "Mr. Godzilla, now I also have this question. Is your first name, 'god' and the family name 'zilla'?"

Mr. Godzilla: "grr...."

Mr. Godzilla had never answered the author's last question. However, Mr. Godzilla's selling of WMD materials could be unintentional for Mr. Godzilla just going potty when he needs to around Iraq region.

The interview with HKSPU personnel, Sgt Hello Kitty was not as fertile as the author had expected.

Musashi: "I have been hearing that the HKSPU has been trying to arrest Mr. Godzilla under the ground of selling of WMD materials to Iraq."

Sgt. Hello Kitty: "Yes, we are pretty sure that he had done it. But the whole investigation process is classified so I cannot say anything until we find the solid evidence. However, the fact that he had been to Iraq for a week in 1996 itself has been a critical issue on the Monster Island."

Musashi: "Sgt. Kitty. Is your first name "Hello" and your family name, "Kitty"?"

Sgt. Hello Kitty: ".... Excuse me, but I should get back to the investigation. For further inquiry, there will be the Official Press Conference."

Sgt. Kitty silenced herself and left the room. Again, the author failed to learn the structure of Sgt. Kitty's name. Was it my hair-do? May be the author should have been smiling more often. Anyway, the author was too distracted by the structures of the interviewees' names. However, Mr. Godzilla's selling of WMD material to Iraq in the summer of 1996 may have been unintentional potty necessity of Mr. Godzilla.


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