Friday, July 27, 2007



(Tony's Baloney for July 27, 2007)

(Cross-posted at My Left Wing and Daily Kos.))

I saw lil' Bill O'Reilly's essay on faith a few weeks ago. You really have to admire O'Reilly's determination to keep weighing in on the BIG ISSUES despite his lack of integrity, clarity, insight, sincerity, cogency or wit. He never gives up his ambitious goal to look like someone who has something to say.

I think it's cute that he's trying to help. What a brave little soldier! And his temper tantrums are like the yelping of a three-year-old who wants to help Daddy mow the lawn. (But Daddy has to be pragmatic. Just take a look at O'Reilly's weekly column to get an idea what the yard would look like if Junior got his way. What a mess.)

O'Reilly's latest little essay was mostly a struggling effort to prove, from evidence, of all things, that there's some sort of atheistic liberal media controlling national debate. O'Reilly's evidence was not very convincing, but at least he had some. For a change. By playing a journalist on television for so long, Bill seems to be assuming a few shallow trappings of an actual reporter.

Let's see, Bill pointed out that there's a book about atheism on the bestseller list, and he had quotes from three Hollywood stars where they expressed doubts about the existence of God. And somehow, this proves that there's an atheistic liberal media. For Bill, it's a pretty impressive attempt.

There was a little more to Bill's essay. But it was mostly about what a great debater he is on television. I'd rather not take Bill's word on this (or anything), especially since I've seen his show and he thinks shutting off his opponent's microphone is a brilliant debating tactic.

I thought about it for a few days and it struck me how unlikely Bill O'Reilly is. Not the man himself. There are plenty of ignorant, bullying loudmouths in the world, dispensing lies, half-truths, lame rationalizations, straw man arguments, ad hominems, ad absurdems and false dichotomies as if they owned stock in a logical fallacy manufacturing company. But you usually find people like Bill O'Reilly in bars or on street corners, living in refrigerator boxes or, if they have rich parents, they become high school administrators.

But Bill O'Reilly has a wide range of forums for his uninformed blather. He has had several books published. He's on the radio for three hours most days. He's on television every week night. He has a column that regularly appears in a number of newspapers that have very low self-esteem.

It's all horribly unlikely. And on top of all that, these media outlets give so much time to this shouting half-wit and then expect to be treated like organizations that deserve any respect from honest, decent people.

It gets harder to believe the more you think about it.

I was mulling this over and it struck how much more likely God is than Bill O'Reilly.

God. Big guy with a fluffy white beard, a robe, really nice sandals. Lives on a cloud, sits on a throne, passes judgment on us all.

I find it much easier to believe in God. The big guy on the throne seems a lot more likely than Bill O'Reilly and his witless entourage.

Bill O'Reilly (God help us all) really exists.

Therefore, God's existence, when confronted with such ironclad logic, is almost a certainty, regardless of any particular individual's particular faith.

I wish He would do something about bellowing head cases like Bill O'Reilly.


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