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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

MALLARD FILLMORE EVEN MORE LAME THAN USUAL TODAY! 

MALLARD FILLMORE FANS, PLEASE RESPOND! (ARE THERE ANY?)

Is there such a thing as conservative humor? Aside from stuff like Bill O'Reilly inviting al Qaeda to attack San Francisco? (Bill said he was just joking. A typical conservative dodge. Say something idiotic and inflammatory and then say you were just joking and liberals have no sense of humor. Uh, guys, jokes are supposed to be funny. And, uh, political humor should have just a tiny, little basis in reality to be funny. Basing an anti-liberal joke on stuff that the Republicans made up is not really political humor, except to the weak-minded and the deluded.)

I mean, look at today's Mallard Fillmore cartoon. Is that totally lame or what? I'm trying to figure out what he means by France gloating over America's troubles. Did they declare a "National Gloating About America's Troubles Day" and I missed it because the "Liberal Media" didn't cover it? Did Jacques Chirac call a press conference to say something like, "Zut Alors! You Americans have a retard for a president! Neener, neener, neener!" Did Gerard Depardieu make a statement that it was funny that America was losing two or three soldiers a day in Iraq? What?

Or is this just one of those articles of conservative faith that just gets repeated and accepted by weak-minded conservatives?

It's a fucking slap in the face to the French soldiers who served, and are still serving, in Afghanistan. Funny how conservatives never seem to mention that. (I really, really hope that the conservatives discover truth, fairness and honor in time to start helping to save the world from their recklessness and their delusions.)

The other thing about theis cartoon is the implication of that last panel: that Mallard Fillmore is going to gloat about France's troubles. (I assume he means the recent riots, that seems pretty obvious, but he was pretty vague, a common conservative tactic so he can deny that's what he meant and then get all huffy: "That's not what I meant! How dare you! You liberals are always ready to assume the worst about conservatives!") And ... get this: he's implying that it's OK to gloat about France's troubles. You see what he did? He put forward a straw man argument that France always gloats about America's misfortune's, so that makes it OK for deluded conservatives to gloat about France being struck with riots.

Ha ha.

The Mallard Fillmore should be ashamed of himself. A new fucking low for the conservative comics. Congratulations.

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Sunday, November 27, 2005

KATE MOSS DOESN'T SNORT COKE! 

It's true! Kate Moss has never done drugs in her life! She just looks like she's high because of the cruel and inhuman manner in which supermodels are treated sometimes.

For example, take a look at this video clip. Kate is topless and jumping up and down to get the right effect for a sadistic photographer. After a few minutes of this, vertigo takes over, she goes mad and tries to eat the red construction paper background, and then she suffers a head injury when she finally falls - dizzy, exhausted and humiliated - to the ground.

THIS is the reason for the bizarre and whacky behavior of supermodels. I mean, really, aside from the video of poor Kate snorting blow, what real evidence is there that Kate Moss is a coke head?

UPDATE: If you read the comments on the link, you will see that someone is disputing the identity of the girl in the video. They are saying it is not Kate Moss. Danny Disputer does not elaborate. Here is a link to The Superficial which describes the story and has an image of the dancing girl as a video capture, and it sure looks like Kate Moss to me! That doesn't prove that it IS her, of course. I'm just putting it out there so the reader can decide. Anybody who knows anything about this, say something in the comments. Even if it's not Kate Moss, it's pretty funny. Not quite as funny, but still funny. What would be really funny is if it was one of the Bush girls.)

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