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Wednesday, April 07, 2004

I, THE AUDIENCE. CHAPTER ONE 

THE ATTACK OF THE BLOOD-HUNGRY LATE-NIGHT CINERAMADOME CROWD

So I went and saw "Dawn of the Dead" on opening day, the late show, at the Cineramadome, second row, center. The place was packed! There were no seats left, the crowd was buzzing, ready for the movie. It didn't seem like a particularly unruly crowd. But then the previews started and the place went nuts!

The first preview was "Van Helsing." I don't think this looks very good but I don't have any particular hostility toward it. About ten seconds into the preview, somebody started booing Hugh Jackman and his monster movie. Boooo! Boooo! Boooo! The whole crowd, laughing, joined in. We had a heck of a time booing "Van Helsing."

Then, they showed the preview for "The Chronicles of Roddick" (or whatever it's called). Again, this looks pretty bad but I had never heard of it. Again, somebody started razzing this movie (whatever it is). And everybody joined in, booing and hissing and laughing. We were having a great time!

The third preview started. It was the remake of "Walking Tall." I really hate The Rock so I started yelling the second the preview began, really screaming myself hoarse at this poor movie. Booooooooo! BOOOOOO! And everybody in the Dome joined in, even louder than before! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The Dome rocked with our critical discontent. You couldn't hear a single word anybody said during the prevew. The preview for "Walking Tall" ended and we all laughed.

Why did we laugh? I think it was because, as a group of film lovers, we were pleased with ourselves. We had made a statement against Hollywood and its stupid movies. One person had decided he or she was fed up with Hollywood's "product" and started in on "Van Helsing." That one person was probably just as startled as everybody else that the audience reacted so vociferously. We hated those movies! We hated Hollywood for making those movies! And we hated ourselves for going to those movies anyway because there's never anything good playing!

By the way, "Dawn of the Dead" was actually pretty good!

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