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Sunday, April 18, 2004

THANK GOD FOR THE NBA! 

I really feel sorry for people who don't pay any attention to sports. I know it's hard for some sports fans to even acknowledge that such people exist but it's true. And these poor unfortunates have NOTHING to offer a mindless distraction from the steady stream of dreary and horrifying war news.

The NBA playoffs started yesterday and, for basketball fans, that means a complete and utter inability to acknowledge all other news. For Laker fans, the Lakers' difficult and precarious win over the Rockets is surely far more disturbing than anything reported from Iraq or Afghanistan. (Did I spell that right? It's been so long since anybody mentioned Afghanistan that I'm not sure it really exists. Maybe I dreamed the whole thing.)

This sports distraction is necessary for the maintenance of good mental health. If Mushtown Media Corp. always focused on the incompetence of the Bush Administration, it might get very boring. No matter how stupid and corrupt they are, making fun of them gets kind of old and political writers can get kind of demoralized at the sorry state of the nation and the poor quality of leadership.

So the NBA playoffs have come just in time for everybody, including the Bush Administration! Professional basketball has the longest play-off season of any professional sport. As a matter of fact, the NBA playoffs are actually longer than the entire season for some sports! So we can all be happily and blissfully distracted for the next three or four months! Then, really serious sports fans can look forward to being distracted by the Olympics! (Actually, I think the Olympics will have been over for a few weeks when the finals are held.)

So now, sports fans will have to rely on non-sports fans to keep us informed. If the Bush Administration decides to take advantage of the playoffs to drop a nuke on America's true enemies (France, for example, and American sports fans won't notice because all they play in France is soccer), it will be up to non-sports fans to call us and tell us. During commercials, of course!

(By the way, I'm rooting for the Pacers! And I picked the Spurs to knock out the Lakers in the second round. I'm a big fan of the Lakers, but I have to face reality. Yao Ming may look a little tired. But he doesn't look anywhere near as tired as Phil Jackson.)

(Note: As a courtesy to all non-sports fans of Mushtown Media Corp., the editorial board will provide a glossary to clarify some of the terms and concepts presented in today's post. But not right now. The Miami-Charlotte game is on!)

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