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Friday, April 01, 2005

SAILOR MOON: NOT FOR SISSIES! 

A GUIDE TO SAILOR MOON FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T REALLY CARE VERY MUCH

Contrary to popular belief, Sailor Moon is not primarily about Japanese schoolgirls being raped by demons. As a matter of fact, Sailor Moon isn't about that at all. This site has occasionally been the source of a little harmless information (like when I said the president was a decent human being), and Mushtown Media Corp. takes pride in correcting itself when it is necessary.

In a recent blog about Jap (Whoops! I mean Japanese, sorry.) culture, I mentioned a Japanese manga (which means really thick, extravagantly expensive Japanese comic book, published backwards) that has one of the characters from Sailor Moon being attacked and ravished by demons from Hell. I didn't make this shit up! I have seen the comic, and it exists. However, I may have left the impression that Sailor Moon is some kind of porno comic. It isn't. It is wholesome family entertainment (with only a little dash of discrete lesbianism). The comic I saw was some sort of anomaly, probably like those Tijuana Bibles from when we were kids that had Casper and Wendy getting it on with Richie Rich and Little Dot. It was not a part of the regular Sailor Moon continuity, and if you buy the regular Sailor Moon series on DVD for your children, there will be very little of the clothes being torn off and the demon-raping. (Okay, none.)

I did a little research on Sailor Moon, partly to provide a little information for Mushtown Media Corp. readers, but mostly to find out just why the Hell it's called Sailor Moon. (This has bothered me for years.)

Sailor Moon is the heart-warming story of a bunch of teenage girls wearing sailor suits who are also super-heroes who fight giant monsters. (I know it sounds a little like the Powerpuff Girls, but please bear with me.) I don't know why, they just do. And the reason they wear sailor suits is, um, I think it's because they wear uniforms in the Japanese public schools that look like sailor suits. This is how it was explained to me, and I'm sticking to this story!

The reason it's called Sailor Moon is actually very simple: The main girl goes by the name Sailor Moon when she is a super-hero. Her real name is Usagi (in the Japanese version) or Serena (in the U.S. version). (I don't know what her name is in her super-hero guise in the Japanese version ... not sure I care very much.) The other girls are named after heavenly bodies as well. From Sailor Mercury to Sailor Pluto.

One of the readers of the original post got very angry about what I said about Sailor Moon and the demons. I would like to clarify that when I said it was a Sailor Moon comic, I meant the Sailor Moon series, and I was not referring to the character. At the time, I didn't know Sailor Moon was a specific person. And it was NOT Sailor Moon that was raped by the demons. It was, in point of fact, Sailor Mercury who was raped by the demons. (She's the smart one, by the way.)

But Sailor Moon is still a slut! Just ask me what she likes! (Take that, Bob the Diehard Usagi fan!)

For more information on Sailor Moon, I mean, if you are really that sadistic, check out "Sailor Moon Universe" and sailormoon.org.

Heil Bush!

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