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Tuesday, November 08, 2011

LAST MAN SLANDERING: The Bench 

The race to the bottom in the desperate struggle to be the GOP candidate in 2012.

We will now give Herman Cain a break to talk about some of the other GOP White House hopefuls, candidates who, at this point, are doing worse than Herman Cain.

NEWT GINGRICH

Used to be Speaker of the House. Claims to be a historian. Mostly famous for his disgraceful treatment of his bed-ridden first wife.

I sigh with disappointment that this man's 15 minutes of fame are not used up yet. Sarah Palin, for all the other things you can say about her, has at least provided many hours of amusement for America and the world.

Newt Gingrich cannnot even claim that much.

Some of my friends have told me to be nice. By making the Gingrich entry short and not providing any links, I AM being nice.

JON HUNTSMAN

Used to be governor of Utah. Was ambassador to Singapore under George H.W. Bush and ambassador to China under Barack Obama. Mostly famous for spelling his first name "Jon."

I spent some time looking for the craziest things he has ever said and, after I got bored from the lack of worthy material, I picked this at random:


We need to continue working closely with China to convince North Korea to abandon its nuclear weapons program.
- Jon Huntsman
Isn't that a bad thing? Aren't the Chinese a bunch of Communists? Instead of "working closely" with them on anything, shouldn't we be preparing to go to war with them and screaming "treason" at anyone who disagrees? (Perhaps I'm getting them mixed up with Iran.)

It's just not that crazy. He seems to be mostly sane. I think Huntsman's major weakness may well be his weird delusion that he has anything in common with the crazed, fearful dimwits that vote for Republicans.

Another drawback: As a Mormon, he doesn't get to show off to "Values Voters" that he's the most Jesus-y candidate of them all.

RICK SANTORUM

Used to be a senator from Pennsylvania. Hates Satan, homosexuals, liberals and the good sense God gave him.

And that's pretty much it except for quotes like this:


Society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that's what? Children. Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.
- Rick Santorum
and other statements that are not much like anything that might fit into the "What Would Jesus Say?" category. Not as I understand Jesus. I'm rather under the impression that Jesus isn't a total douche. But it seems an awful lot of self-proclaimed Christians are fine with saying that homosexuality is the same as bestiality or pedophilia.

(This comment, by the way, spawned Santorum's Google Problem.)

Santorum has not been polling well, in the 1% to 3% range lately, so it seems many Republicans are not quite dumb enough to buy what he is selling.

Which is not much of an endorsement for Rick Santorum.

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